"Who Am I, God?" A question that changed the course of my life forever. My 2023 Reflection.
As I reflect on this past year, I recognize that this year has been the year of my heart, and speaking my truth. When 2023 came about, I found myself down on my knees asking a very serious question to God, "Who am I?"
In that moment, I surrendered everything that I thought I was ( my business, my relationships, my past, my finances, etc.) over to something much greater than myself. I realized that I didn't want anything if it wasn't my truth. If it wasn't going to bring me peace, I had to say goodbye. I felt called to write as I was moving through this experience of total surrender, and I found that through all the layers, all the characters, all the roles that I had assigned to myself, that I was none of these projections. I am a light. I am compassion, I am kindness, I am grace, I am love. That is what I wrote when I asked God, "Who am I?"
Something awoke within me as I searched to find and take hold of that eternal peace, freeing myself from the world of attachments. Nothing outside of myself would bring me what I desired, and that led me to live from the solace and purity of my heart. Every step, every breath, I have taken since that moment has led me to create profound impacts in my life, and in the lives of those I've met.
I was guided in February by the Holy Spirit to read a Course in Miracles, a sacred text that has completely shifted my view on reality. Each page, my heart beat with a frequency of forgiveness and peace of mind. I was learning from my greatest teacher yet, the Holy Spirit, how to live from a place of unconditional love, knowing that I have never been separated from God.
As I began to read this sacred text, my life began to shift. My dreams became a reality of bringing yoga into the academic setting, and teaching little kids how to self-regulate with yogic principles and practices. This experience healed a part of my soul, and reconnected me with the heart of my inner child. It was as if I was recollecting the petals of the rose that created my heart. I learned how to harness the creative power of my inner child, and turn yoga poses into relay races and animalistic expressions where we took the children to the "zoo." As this dream was coming to an end, I remember one of the little boy's telling me that yoga helped him calm the anger that was inside of his body. Wow. To be a channel of service is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me. At that moment, I felt complete.
As these dreams of my heart were being made manifest, another dream took hold. The dream was to pursue my connection with God and the angels, and head out west to Sedona, AZ. This meant that I had to call upon God to assist with me speaking my truth, ending business partnerships, and holding steadfast to the vision that was planted in my heart. These were some of the most uncomfortable conversations I have had to date, but with God, I was able to speak my truth with compassion for my heart as well as the hearts of the parties that were involved.
In the summer, I was free. Free from business partnerships, from certification programs that no longer served my dharma, and the only thing on my mind and in my heart was gearing up for this massive life change of moving out west.
This was the summer and the year that I said, “F**k it, I'm chasing my dreams. If I don't go and see where this takes me, I will always regret it, and in my search for eternal peace, I was not about to let myself live with regret." All the doubt, all the illusions of fear and scarcity that the ego threw my way dropped to the wayside as I pursued my pure. Nothing was stopping me from seeking my truest, most authentic version of me.
Along my journey of 2023, Mother Mary has been my rock. She has taught me that it is okay to feel the sadness, the endings, the fear of the unknown because as she told me, "I am right there by your side, guiding your heart, and I will never abandon you. When you open your heart to God, you open your heart to infinite possibilities." With her, the Holy Spirit, and all my guides who love me unconditionally, I was able to take leaps of faith even when I wasn't sure of the outcome. These leaps of faith have led me to extraordinary places, meeting extraordinary souls, and bringing a new level of love and peace into my heart.
I can honestly say that the petals of my rose heart that I have picked up and opened along the way, have taught me to trust, to have patience, to be compassionate and forgiving, as I lead with love. Thank you to all the readers for witnessing my journey this year.
In sharing my story of following my heart, I pray that you have the courage to do the same. We are all here to open the rose that is placed within our heart's center, and recollect the pieces of our soul that have been casted away to fear. It is a great honor to know and be in your presence. Each and every one of you carry the light of God, and I stand here as a humble witness to your radiant light.